“The better you learn to take care of yourself, the less you settle for being around people who can’t or won’t treat you as well as you’re accustomed.”—Curtis Sittenfeld (via justbesplendid) (via quote-book)
“Haven’t you ever known someone rejected by a lover, who, consumed by rage and jealousy, never lets go? They look on from a distance, unseen but boiling inside. The emotion never seems to tire, this hatred mixed with intense obsession, even with a kind of twisted love.”— Scott Westerfeld |Submitted by: kate-kate-kate (via quote-book)
It doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s still hope.
There are lies and pity in their hearts as well.
There’s no freedom of speech; One must be careful on how to explain. To sugar coat things.
No one should deserve the agony of being tied down.
It’s a mistake some people seem to do.
It’s a mistake being fixed by a million.
Only successfully done by a few.
There are friends and foes.
Strangers and family.
The trusted and the trustee.
The breaker and the broken.
The lover and the loved.
The found and the lost.
If Earth was confusing on its own… I just find it amazing how people take the mysteries of Earth, the lives of others and their own lives at the same time.
Understanding and trust is important, right?
I may be too raw… too young… too naive and closed minded… I’m too stupid and blind…
The Earth is something I cannot bear. Nor can I bear my existence. My friends, family, loved ones… I find it hard to cope up… For I cannot even trust myself.
But people try. And I’m a person.
I want to think… I want to think and think and learn and grow up. But the young and raw part of me breaks when I start to move away and hide. Solitude. The most painful thing. Solitude. Silence. At first it’s comforting. But in the end, I find it eerie and strange. Silence. I’m not used to that. Being born with music coursing through my veins, with people chatting and creating noise… I’m not used to that. Sometimes I find peace in silence and in books. But the mind wanders in silence. My mind wanders in silence. My mind finds what it has been looking for. The mind manipulates, understands, rationalizes and so on. But then again, the mind wanders to wrong places as well. Anxiety? Fear? Have you ever heard of that? It overrules a lot of things. It rules me. Fear. Who thought of fear everyday? Fear… of loss. Fear… of mistakes. Fear of… everything? But I am fixing everything, for everything. But I am trying to be strong, holding on to the rope of the Lord. He is guiding me. I pray for His strength to course through me. Enlightenment. I see the truth. I see the pain of others. I see you. And I see them. I love you as I love them. I love you as endless as the ocean, once looked at from the shore. I love me. I love myself so much I’ve been selfish. That’s not love anymore. I don’t think it’s love. I don’t think I really do love myself. I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust myself. But I’m working on it.
Where are you? I want to know. I wonder where you’ve gone, why you’ve stopped talking to me. Should I go look for you? Should I stay? It’s scary out there. But maybe I’d risk a lot of things for you. The dumbest thing ever. Me looking for you. I’m stressed out and tired. I’m the one troubled by last night. Sick and helpless.
You stopped answering your phone. And never returned my calls. No text messages. Not even a single hello. Should I look for you now? Should I try risking it? I’m scared as hell to go out and look for you. But I’m more scared by the thought of losing you.
No more silent games. Please it gives me the shivers. I needed time to think. One day is enough. I know my priorities. I know what I want. I know what I need.